My "GOLDEN hour" rule

There are several theories out there about time: some claim it exists, while others say it's a men made illusion, some argue it's linear while scientists proved that it's relative and so on and so forth. I do not want to put this topic at debate but want to share a small aha moment I had recently.

I always argued that I do not do certain things because, guess what (I think)"I do not have time" and that I will get to a point in life in which I will have some more time (somehow magically) and then I will do all those things I claim I do want to do but don't have time.

And then, I got to a point in my life where daily duties have reduced due to choosing not to have a 9-5 work engagement. And here comes that "magical" moment in which supposedly I have more time and I will do all those things that did not make it to the 24hours cut off previously. Because well now, I finally have time.

And? Do I do those important things sitting on my wish list now? Of course, I don't. Why not? Because while I do have a bit more time these days due to less structure in my day, my female brain still operates from the same <diffuse awareness> perspective in which all the things in my environment are competing for my awareness and make every task worth doing (and ideally now). So, I often find myself in a position of doing even the smallest things, like picking up socks or arranging some toys just because they were in my awareness and my brain rated those things as important and that needed my attention and action there and then. Which often brought me to a point of "loosing time" or better said investing time and energy in things that were not really important instead of concentrating on the things I would have loved to do.

Bottom line is that the story we often tell ourselves and others that I will do this & that when I have "more" time is highly likely a fat lie. As this thing with having time is not real. It is always about making time and I would add to it intentionally. Whether that's committing to someone, putting it in your diary, writing it on your to do list etc. It has to be with intention and engagement. As otherwise, there is always the chance that especially we, with our female brain wiring, will be derailed and detracted by something else and will end up not doing what we had in mind.

As a consequence of not managing to do in these past few months some of the things I wished I would do, I implemented my "golden hour" rule a few weeks ago. And that is having a dedicated time to myself (for me it's an hour as that is what I can commit to for the time being) on a daily basis in which I do things that are important and meaningful to me and that I do not wish to miss out in my day. Under no circumstances. I informed my family and friends (if it was the case of a stayover) that that is my non negotiable me time and that I need privacy.

For me that is the time in which I invest usually in my daily ACIM lesson, meditation and journaling but am flexible to vary if needed depending on how I feel. It's a practice that is slowly building to be a lifestyle (there are still days in which I would snooze the 6am alarm easily) and I very much look forward to it every day as it is grounding and nourishing my soul. And I also feel less self blame, guilt and frustration because I make sure I do those important things daily and do not leave them to chance. I love this rule more and more and wish it is here to stay no matter what life routine looks like now or in the future.